What Are We Now?
by Aijin
Summary: Just how far can one push a relationship before it's lost? How does Goten react when he's faced with the chance of loosing his best friend? [angst, m/m, mature themes] [*COMPLETE*! R/R!!]
1. Part 1

Back from the dead And with a ficcie. ^_^ Here's a lil something I've been nursing along for awhile. Thought I'd share.

Author: I have many pen names. so don't be thinking I stole this from Mel Twinkle' if you're on the SS list For we are one in the same ^_-

Pairings: Trunks+Goten (note the +', there's a difference)

Notes: This doesn't exactly have a place in the timeline, it's just when Trunks 18ish and Goten is 17ish. The lengths of the chapters vary, I tried to keep them all decent, sorry for anything too short 

Warnings: Angst, my sense of humor, Goten torture (in a sense at least), and need I mention yaoi?

Disclaimer: DBZ name minedamn

~Part 1~

Two words. Short words. Simple words. Ha! Like they could ever be simple. Never. I never ever thought that I would ever hear those two words. 

They were rushed, obvious rehearsal gone to waste. The sound of pure fear followed and enveloped them. 

The words seemed amusing at first. Laughable for the split second before I could hear the emotion behind them. 

It makes me almost wish I didn't hear them at all. Never before had I longed for that tone in his voice. The tone that said 'Ha! I got you this time!' 

I was shocked to my core. My very sense of who I knew to be my best friend had shifted. I was ashamed that it had happened, but I couldn't help it. Those words, those damned words, they did it. They made my best friend into something less. 

They made my world crumble. I never knew before that words held so much power. Simple words. Short words. 

The words Trunks had mumbled had sent my mind whirling.

The two words? "I'm gay."

They were said quickly, before his breath could with hold them from reaching his mouth. Filled with such emotion, such anxiety. 

I would've laughed had his eyes not told me his words were true. 

I would've punched him in the arm and thrown an attempt at a joke at him had his voice not trembled with those two words. 

And had he not been wringing the sweat from his hands and swallowing invisible lumps in his throat I would've called him crazy.

I did no such thing. 

He was serious. More serious than was his usual demeanor. This was the type of sober seriousness that only came with much concentrated and calculated thought. 

Thoughts crashed through my mind as a bull would a house of glass, yet not forming words. Every moment I had spent with Trunks was being analyzed. Scene after scene was played before my mind's eye. Innocent games were scrutinized to the point of being twisted into something to pleasure the sordid teen in front of me. The sleepovers, the games, the sparring; all were turned into Trunks' sorry attempt to get that much closer to me. 

I was appalled. I felt nauseous to the point of having that acidic taste in the back of my mouth. 

Finding out that Trunks' was gay felt like betrayal. It felt as though all I had know of him previously was false. That the Trunks I had called my best friend for all my life had turned out to be something else. 

I thought of him as a monster of sorts. Not in the sense of traditional monsters, but more as an ugly creature; a being that didn't deserve to sit in front of me, looking at me with those eyes. 

I considered him different in every aspect that he once was. He no longer was Trunks. He couldn't be. Because Trunks was my best friend, not someone who was gay.

He looked at me, never breaking his stare. There was something in his eyes. Something foreign that I couldn't recognize. Searching for an explanation in his eyes brought only complication. Confusion. I didn't know. 

What was it? 

I couldn't tell. It seemed a mix of the very emotions I felt. 

He was hurt, as I was; he was confused, as I was; he was scared. 

I wasn't scared. Or was I? But whatwas my fear? What was I hoping wasn't there? 

It was then that I realized one of two things, the first being loudest in my thoughts. 

Trunks was gay.

I was scared.

I was scared because my best friend was gay.

That didn't answer all my wondering, for it only created more questions. But my mind in the state of shock it was in couldn't process more reasons.

And then my second realization spoke up. I hadn't said anything. I had sat, staring back into the eyes before me, speechless. No word had escaped into the air from my lips for the passed minutes.

The quantity of minutes passed was lost on me, for in my thoughts I had no sense of time. All I knew was the boy before me. His face, his eyes. 

Suddenly breaking the silence was a sigh. From me? No. From the one across from me. Trunks sighed and closed his eyes, seemingly loosing some sort of battle between himself and me. He rose quietly, looking down on me.

There was something else in his eyes. I knew what this one was.

Disappointment. Deep disappointment.

It was clear in those blue orbs. As clear as if I were reading it from a book. But his reasoning behind such a feeling was not. Yet another onslaught of unvoiced questions battered my brain. The biggest of all, why?

But before any sound came from my lips, he blinked, letting one solemn tear fall to his cheek. Turning his back to me he walked for the door and left. Not uttering another word. 

Confusion, so much confusion. My eyes followed him as he left, questioning his actions. Why? What did he expect from me?

I turned to my bed and attacked my pillow, beating the feathers from it as if they held some answer to my questions. But they didn't. And I knew they wouldn't. 

Answers never came throughout the countless minutes that passed. 

Was it minutes? It could've been hours. Time had slipped by yet again as more and more questions came to me. Or perhaps it wasn't more questions, but the same questions over and over again. 

Why?

Why was I afraid? What did I fear? Why did I fear my best friend? Is he still my best friend? Or is he now something lower because of his confession? Why did he tell me? Why didn't I know? How could my best friend- if he was my best friend- be gay?

To Be Continued.

So? What do you think? Lemme know. Thanks go ta Vindali for the help ^_^. Oh, and sorry if the formatting's weird my comp hates me -_-''


	2. Part 2

Back for more, eh? Well good ^_^.  
  
  
  
Pairings: Trunks+Goten (note the '+', there's a difference)  
  
Notes: This doesn't exactly have a place in the timeline, it's just when Trunks 18ish and Goten is 17ish. The lengths of the chapters vary, I tried to keep them  
  
all decent, sorry for anything too short  
  
Warnings: Angst, my sense of humor, Goten torture (in a sense at least), and need I mention shounen ai?  
  
Disclaimer: DBZ's not mine...damn  
  
Life went on as normal as it could. Though the questions continued swimming through my head, I paid no heed to them anymore. It had been a week. I had a life to tend to. Dwelling on questions that seemed to have no answers didn't help.  
  
I went to school. I did the normal thing to do. Excepting, of course, all my thoughts were on him. The boy sitting next to me in every class we shared. That fact didn't make it easy. He was so close. I could still feel the intensity of his confession pushing on me though it had passed.  
  
Schoolwork became forgotten as the questions swam back to the frontof my mind. That seemed reasonable due to the fact that I had been staring at Trunks for the last forty-five minutes.  
  
And then it hit. It hit hard and it hit fast. I almost didn't believe it when it first came to me. But it didn't leave as quickly as it came thankfully, or it would've stirred only more question and I didn't need that.  
  
It stayed, my realization. And it became clearer to me the longer it took demand of my concentration.  
  
I was scared.  
  
This I had already figured out. But now I knew why. I was scared because of me. Because of what I feared would happen to me. I was afraid of what Trunks being gay would do to me; my image, my reputation, what people thought of me. Not just any people, because many people I knew to be shallow I wouldn't think twice about. I was scared of what my friends would think of me.  
  
And then another thought struck me more severely than the first.  
  
I was the monster.  
  
I was shallow, I was conceited, I was sordid, and I was wrong.  
  
I feared not what I saw in Trunks because of his confession, but what I saw in myself.  
  
He was not the friend in question. I was. No friend would think what I had. He had wanted me to accept him, and I rejected him. Not with my words, but my lack thereof. I had said nothing, not even a word of acknowledgment. The hope I had seen in his eyes was devastated. He needed something from me, and I gave him nothing.  
  
I was a monster. A true monster.  
  
I got a brewing feeling of hatred in my heart. This time, though, I knew exactly why it was there.  
  
There was a point in my life when I knew that Trunks would always be my best friend. I can't pinpoint my age, but I was young. Yet I knew then what I should've realized even better now.  
  
Trunks will always be my best friend.  
  
And I knew the hatred in my heart was for none other than myself. For when I denied Trunks my friendship I denied a part of me.  
  
I felt nauseous. If I didn't get away from Trunks very soon I knew my stomach would allow me to revisit my lunch.  
  
I stood in a rush. Pushing my chair to the floor behind me. Without giving a reason to my teacher, I hurried out of the room. I paused in my escape only long enough to give Trunks a look I hoped he would know, then I continued my retreat from the offending area.  
  
I didn't stop in the hallway. I didn't stop while going through the main doors. I wouldn't have stopped for awhile longer had it not been for administration.  
  
The balding man hurried over to me before I reached the bottom of the steps.  
  
"Young man, where do you think you're going? You do realize school does not release early because of your schedule." It wasn't a question, more of a sarcastic statement.  
  
I stopped, knowing full well I could out run this and any other staff member, but choosing to humor him. "Oh it doesn't?" I replied, keeping my back to him.  
  
He 'humph'ed and walked briskly to my side, laying a hand roughly on my shoulder. "Young man don't you know you face your elders while speaking?" He turned me around and his face dropped as he realized whom he was talking to. "Son Goten," He sighed, "You know the drill. In my office."  
  
I grinned, and walked the well-memorized path to the principal's office with the balding administer following me. On the way there I was thankful for the routine. It gave break to the hammering of thoughts I had been troubled with the past days.  
  
As I entered his office and took a seat, the principal glanced at me. "Aren't you usually attached to the hip of that purple haired Briefs kid when you get in trouble, Son?" He asked, turning to grab my file from his desk.  
  
I was thankful for the second time in five minutes. Glad he wasn't looking at me to see me tense. I felt a shiver run through my body at the mention of Trunks. Why did he have to bring him up? And there came the questions yet again.  
  
"What, you think I can't get into trouble without him? Heh." I tried to sound convincing, but even I could hear the falter in my voice.  
  
"Are you covering for him, Son Goten? You know that lying about his involvement could get you into more trouble."  
  
He wasn't involved with this. I was the monster. Lock me up within these walls, I don't deserve the freedom I sought anyway.  
  
"No reply, eh? Using your right to remain silent, if only you practiced this more often."  
  
I would've objected to his remark, but my mind was becoming cluttered again. It was all I could do to keep from wanting to break down right then and there.  
  
"Okay then, I'll just call Briefs up here to speak for himself." The principal pushed the button on the microphone on his desk, turning on the intercom. "Teachers excuse the interruption, Briefs Trunks please report to administration, that is all."  
  
I froze yet again and this time he noticed. Why did he need to bring Trunks here? That's why I left in the first place, I needed to get away from him for awhile.  
  
He smiled to himself, probably thinking he had caught me at some trick. I doubt he could come close to guessing what he was really doing. I only hoped Trunks wouldn't hate me anymore than he already did.  
  
"Really Son, you look like a deer caught in headlights. Not very becoming of you. But I suppose being caught in one of your games could do that to you." He rambled on, the tone of his voice letting on to the fact he thought he'd won this time. I didn't listen to him any further, dreading the moment when I would have to be close to Trunks again.  
  
Then I heard it. The quiet creaking sound of the old door knob turning. Goose bumps prickled up my spine as I held in a gasp behind my lips. I turned to the door to see the knob twisting. I swallowed the rising heat in my throat.  
  
In stepped Trunks, I thought I was going to freeze by all the bumps popping over my skin. He looked at me for a brief second, and I saw the same disappointment cross through his eyes. Disappointment and hurt.  
  
Had I hurt him that much? I hadn't thought so at first, though I knew he held a little pain. But so much as to allow it to show on his face? I sighed, knowing what I had done.  
  
I am still a monster. More so now, I think, than before. I owed him something. Some word, some gesture. And as his payment he received a cold shoulder from his once best friend. I gave nothing of what he deserved, and I realized -as these realizations had occurred quite often lately- that I couldn't give him what he deserved, for I had taken too much.  
  
He sent the principal a questioning look before sitting next to me. As he sat I felt the room grow even colder as a shiver ran through my body.  
  
"So," The principal sat, leaning back in his chair, "what were you two planning this time?"  
  
Trunks raised an eyebrow my direction. "I...we weren't...I was just, um..."  
  
"He was going to the Capsule Corp., he volunteered to be a product tester."  
  
Trunks had just covered for me. I was thankful but regretful at the same time. I didn't even ask and he helped me out. He wanted a word or something from me and I gave him nothing.  
  
"Oh," The principal sounded disappointed, "do you have a note or anything proving this?" He smiled.  
  
"Um..."  
  
Trunks glanced at me and sighed softly, "I'm going to be the president of Capsule Corporation pretty soon, take my word for it."  
  
"Well-"  
  
"Or you could call my mother and try explaining to her why her product will be delayed testing, of course, she's not always as understanding as I am."  
  
"Oh, um, no, that's fine. I trust your word." He sighed again, not pleased by the excuse, "You both can go now, then." He made a shooing motion with his hand.  
  
Trunks rose and I watched him make his way to the door. What had he just done? He covered for me, even after what I did to him? How...?  
  
Without really thinking of what I was doing, I caught up to Trunks in the hall. My heart skipped in my chest and mouth got dry.  
  
"Trunks," He turned at my questioning, but offered only a tired, annoyed look. "Look, about what happened last week..." The words left my mind, I stood in front of the only person I considered my best friend, stupefied.  
  
"It's fine," Trunks sighed, turning his back to me again, "I've got to get to class, enjoy your day off."  
  
"But...what about...?" But before I could get another sentence out he started walking away.  
  
It's okay then, Trunks. Get away from me, far away. I'm a monster anyway.  
  
TBC...  
  
So, lemme know whatcha think ^_^. Again, sorry if the format's screwy, I'm trying text format cause html didn't come out right... my comp still hates me... Oh, thanks go ta Vindali, SRJ, and alice... All three reviewers -_- ''... Somehow I'm not feeling da love.... Oh woe is me. Need I type it? REVIEW... please ^_^V 


	3. Part 3

Still reading this? Coolness ^_^V  
  
Pairings: Trunks+Goten (note the '+', there's a difference)  
  
Notes: This doesn't exactly have a place in the timeline, it's just when Trunks 18ish and Goten is 17ish. The lengths of the chapters vary, I tried to keep them  
  
all decent, sorry for anything too short  
  
Warnings: Angst, my sense of humor, Goten torture (in a sense at least), and need I mention shounen ai?  
  
Disclaimer: DBZ's not mine...damn  
  
~Part 3~  
  
I lay on the grass in the old sparring grounds. Old was right, seeing that there was actual vegetation growing across the dirt.  
  
I sighed. We used to spar here, when things weresimple anyway. When Trunks was just Trunks and I wasn't a monster. But times change, dramatically. Had I known about this change I would've tried to avoid it.  
  
What an idiot I have become. In such a short time too. At least before last week I held some tact to what I said. But it all changed, and for the worse. I managed to make an ass out of myself without saying anything.  
  
"I can't imagine what would've happened had I spoke then..." I muttered to no one but myself. I had to get used to talking to myself, after all, I'd lost the only one I could ever really talk to anyway.  
  
This sent yet another round of those damned questions through my head. This time though I focused on only a couple.  
  
Why am I such a bumbling idiot and how can I make it up to him?  
  
That was it. That's what I had to do. I had to make it up to Trunks, I just had to. I couldn't live without him as my best friend. I couldn't take the cold looks and tight words anymore.  
  
Then I thought of another thing. I knew what I had to do, great, but how I was going to make it up to him was a completely different task all together. I couldn't live without him, that much was pretty clear by all the thoughts that attacked my mind when I should've been sleeping. And I don't think he could live with me, the uncaring, self-centered, bumbling fool that I had become.  
  
What to do then? I needed him back like I needed to breathe. He was always something that was there, and I now realized he had become a necessity to me long ago.  
  
I covered my face with my hands, willing a plan of some sort to come. It was almost ironic. Thoughts bombarded my mind without my wishing them to, but when I needed just one, none would come. I lay there, with my hands over my eyes, for a long time. How long, I don't know. Time hadn't beena factor to me for awhile now. I rolled plan after plan over in my mind. Nothing seemed reasonable; nothing was drastic enough to get my best friend back.  
  
I opened my eyes only to find the sky a deepening shade of blue. Time had slipped by once again. As it usually did, it left no plan. I was determined. Deciding not to leave until I thought of something, I rolled onto my stomach, resting my face on my arms.  
  
I closed my eyes to stare at the darkness behind my eyelids. Hoping that something would spring up from the endless black. Surprisingly enough, something did.  
  
I needed to get Trunks back. I acted like an ass and didn't deserve his friendship. Where there once was love and kindness now was bitterness.  
  
Love. There was love there. The kind of love that can only be shared between best friends. Sacred love. Something never meant to be torn like it had.  
  
Our love had been shredded. It hadn't taken long and it didn't need words. I had broken it.  
  
And. broken his heart?  
  
I knew what I felt, which if it wasn't heartache it was as close as I ever wanted to come to it. My heart felt torn, as did some deeper part of me. And if I felt this way being the monster... I shuddered to think of how Trunks was feeling. But I knew I had to think of him, I couldn't help it. He was a part of my being that needed to be there.  
  
That's how I knew what to do. Broken love such as ours couldn't be patched over or given a quick fix. It needed to be made how it had before. Through love and kindness, through true friendship.  
  
It had taken many years to make what we had, yet seconds to destroy it. I hadn't realized how fragile love could be. Trunks' heart was in what he had told me, and I had ripped it from him.  
  
I was going to fix this. Through love. That's what needed repair, was our love. But I didn't have the years we spent building our friendship now. I couldn't wait that long to see Trunks happy again. I couldn't wait that long to be whole.  
  
If love was needed to fix this problem I caused, then I would love Trunks.  
  
Springing off the ground, I took to the air. Running my plan over in my head, filling my body with such excitement I felt my heart pound against my chest as if it wanted to jump out.  
  
TBC  
  
Yeah, I know that was pretty short. But Part 4 will be longer, I swear. ^_^'' Anyway, lemme know what yaz thought bout it. as in a REVIEW. ^_^ Thanky much for readin, hope ya liked it. 


	4. Part 4

Awesome, you're back ^_^  
  
  
  
Pairings: Trunks+Goten (note the '+', there's a difference)  
  
Notes: This doesn't exactly have a place in the timeline, it's just when Trunks 18ish and Goten is 17ish. The lengths of the chapters vary, I tried to keep them all decent, sorry for anything too short  
  
Warnings: Angst, my sense of humor, Goten torture (in a sense at least), and need I mention shounen?  
  
Disclaimer: DBZ mine? I wish!  
  
School dragged on as it always did. Though time seemed slower every time my plan ran through my mind. I looked up to the clock, work forgotten, for the fifth time that class. I would've guessed time was moving backwards had the dismissal bell not sounded then.  
  
I jumped from my seat, not hearing anything but my thoughts pounding in my ears. I quickly made my way from the constricting room, almost gasping for air as my mind whirled and my heart raced.  
  
I bumped into people in the hall, but I didn't care. I needed to get out of this school, to initiate the plan that had keep me up for the better part of two days. I had rehearsed in my mind, written it down on paper (only to crumble my scribblings), acted out both parts to the point of exhausting my voice, and had reasoned with myself on how it was going to work; yet I still heard the nagging voice in the back of my head.  
  
What if it didn't work? What if Trunks truly hated me beyond fixing our friendship? Would he even believe me?  
  
I didn't dwell on those thoughts. I needed to breathe, I needed Trunks. There were no more questions in my mind, I was going through with it. I couldn't live another day without my best friend.  
  
I had managed my way outside the school. Hurriedly walking the way to Trunks' house, desperately hoping he wasn't too far ahead of me. Increasing my pace to a jog, I finally spotted the purple haired teen I sought.  
  
Slowing again to a quick walk, I reached for Trunks' shoulder. He froze. My heart skipped. I stood there with a questioning look he didn't see. I finally let out the breath I had been holding when he spoke, only to get wracked by nervous shivers at the tone of his voice.  
  
"What is it, Goten." He sounded cold and flat, his voice lacking all the qualities I knew it to hold.  
  
"I..we.." I stumbled through my words, having trouble saying the thoughts in my head, "we need to talk, Trunks."  
  
He turned to face me. His eyes were different now though. They were a cold grayish color. I could see nothing in them. No feelings, no emotions. Like glass clouded over, they yielded nothing. I shuddered inside.  
  
"What was needed to be said has been. There's no use discussing what's in the past." There was something in his voice I couldn't place. Passed the cool, flat monotone there seemed to be something, feeling. Was it...hope?  
  
I was straining to keep from yelling. From just bursting with what I was thinking. But I knew that I had to stay collected, for his sake. For our sake. I could tell he believed what he said, but he also was waiting, hoping for some kind of disagreement from me. I hoped what I was planning would work.  
  
"No, we need to talk..." I trailed off, my voice loosing it's edge as my eyes pleaded with him. "Please, Trunks." I said softly.  
  
He sighed, an obvious battle going on in his thoughts. His eyes told nothing of what he was thinking, so lifeless compared to normal. Looking back at me with an intensity that sent a prickly cold down my spine, he nodded.  
  
"We'll talk, but not here. Come on." He turned and began to continue his trek to his house.  
  
Willing my feet to move, I stumbled dumbly up to his side. During our walk no words were exchanged. All that came from either of us was an occasional sigh, or the scoffing of a foot against the ground.  
  
I yielded to my thoughts once more, allowing them to flood my mind.  
  
I was walking next to Trunks. It felt good. Relieving. Yet at the same time the tense air between us let me only relax enough that my heart stopped racing. I glanced at Trunks, knowing that I did indeed need him back.  
  
Finally we came to the door of his not so humble home. He opened it and walked in, waiting for me to follow. We made the familiar walk to his room, and entered in the same manner we had the previous door. He sat his bag down on his chair, then sat down on the edge of his bed.  
  
I followed his movements with my eyes. Taking a deep breath, I walked over to sit along the edge of his bed as well, hoping he wouldn't mind. He made no move as if to tell me to find another spot, so I remained where I was.  
  
Sighing, he spoke first, "Well, we're here, let's talk."  
  
I tensed again at his monotone voice. Had I really taken that much life from him? I cleared my throat, unsuccessfully trying to remove the lump there.  
  
"Trunks," I sighed, looking him in the eye, "I'm...sorry..."  
  
He tensed, his eyes showing what I guessed to be surprise. He said nothing, so I continued.  
  
"What happened a week ago... I didn't mean to..." I looked at my feet, at the floor, and at the wall, anywhere out of his gaze. "What I mean is... I need you, Trunks. I...I can't let our friendship end like this..." My words trailed off as I realized rehearsing a moment like this didn't help. Finding my voice again, what I next said came out in a rush, "I really need you. I was scared was all, Trunks. God was I scared. It was like discovering something that totally changed my outlook. I didn't mean to be an ass...."  
  
Looking back at him I saw the look he was giving me. A look like 'What the Hell?'. He was opening his mouth to say something when I cut him off.  
  
"Look, it's stupid to loose what we had over me. Please, Trunks, I need what we had. It was a part of me I can't stand to loose. It hurts, it really does... I...I wanna make it up to you..." I took a shaky breath, my heart beating wildly in my chest and my stomach turning, "I... I love you Trunks..."  
  
I didn't have time to think of what I was doing. I leaned forward pressing my lips to his. It wasn't romantic and it wasn't good, but it sent shivers all throughout my body.  
  
His eyes flew open and he drew back as if being burnt. He looked at me like I was crazy, raising his eyebrow to a new height.  
  
I guiltily moved my head back, eyes downcast. "I... um... I'm really sorry, I...I just..." I didn't believe it, but hot tears rushed to my eyes. I pleaded with them, begging them not to go any further. I failed, I realized, as a look of confusion crossed Trunks' face.  
  
Slowly, gently, he moved a hand to my face, wiping the water from my chin and following the wet trail it had left up to my eye. He tilted my face up, looking intently in my eyes. I couldn't help but blush under the scrutiny.  
  
He tilted his head, contemplating the situation. Then, ever so slowly, he drew my face to his for another soft kiss.  
  
This time my eyes opened wide, but I knew this was what needed to be done. I ran my hand gently up his back, resting it on the back of his neck. I smiled against his lips. This was right. I was going to get Trunks back now. My best friend was once again my best friend.  
  
Without warning Trunks drew back again. I fell forward slightly at the loss. He stood up so quickly I thought he was going to jump to the ceiling. I sent him a very confused look. "Trunks-"  
  
He shook his head, sighing, "You should go now, Goten."  
  
I had to control my heart from jumping clear through my chest. What did he just say? I had to leave? But... I thought we had just become friends... What...?  
  
I stood, slowly, trying to pull my thoughts together enough to process this.  
  
I watched as Trunks walked to his door and stopped, waiting for me to follow. I dragged my feet, silently hoping that this was not happening. But as I reached the door he merely opened it.  
  
I had to control my urge to lock the door and stay right where I was. I looked to Trunks again, his head was lowered, eyes seemingly fixed on his shoes.  
  
"What's so fascinating about them? You wear them everyday." I said, attempting to lighten the tense mood that had fallen between us.  
  
He looked up, if only for a brief second, but I could see something in his eyes now. Fear. Looking away again, he shuffled his feet, as a light tinge of pink came to his cheeks. I reached a hand forward, touching him lightly on his shoulder.  
  
"Goten-"  
  
"Do you really hate me that much, Trunks?" I allowed my hurt from the passed days to be heard in my voice. He cringed but said nothing. Sighing, I turned towards the door, and started out.  
  
"Wait," His voice was soft, almost like he hadn't meant it to be heard.  
  
I paused in my step, waiting for him to continue. "Yeah?"  
  
He stepped toward me, leaving inches between our bodies. Closing the gap he slinked an arm around my waist as his lips met mine in a fiery kiss. Before I had a chance to really think about what was going on, he moved his lips up to my ear.  
  
"Think about this, Goten." He whispered, his warm breath tickling my ear.  
  
"But I-"  
  
"Shh," He put a finger to my lips, "Now you really should go." Then he turned and walked to his desk, starting his work.  
  
I shook my head slightly, sighing and turning as I did so. I made my way out to the front of Capsule Corp. and took to the air for home. Thoughts barraged my mind, but I kept them at bay, simply running over what had occurred in Trunks room.  
  
TBC.  
  
Thanks go ta Vindali, $!$!$!, and Lillith Nightdemon for the reviews ^_^. Ya know, all the cool people are reviewing.. And since it's the cool thing ta do you should do it too. (Peer pressure? Naaaah ^_-) Thanks for readin, hope ya enjoyed. 


	5. Part 5

Woo, you're back ^_^  
  
Pairings: Trunks+Goten (note the '+', there's a difference)  
  
Notes: This doesn't exactly have a place in the timeline, it's just when Trunks 18ish and Goten is 17ish. The lengths of the chapters vary, I tried  
  
to keep them all decent, sorry for anything too short  
  
Warnings: Angst, my sense of humor, Goten torture (in a sense at least), and need I mention shounen ai?  
  
Disclaimer: DBZ mine? I wish!  
  
School again. Dreaded school. It was so confining. I couldn't allow my mind to wonder and sort out my thoughts. I couldn't walk up to my once again best friend and give him a hug. And I couldn't keep my eyes off of the man who sat mere feet in front of me. I stared at the back of his head, contemplating what was going on in his mind.  
  
What does he think of me now? He didn't say it, but I know he's not sure of me. I don't blame him, I couldn't speak when he came out to me and here we are in a relationship- is it a relationship? Is it that serious? Did I regain my best friend then turn him into my boyfriend? Am I gay? How could I react to him the way I did if I am the same way? Am I a hypocrite?  
  
I tried to think things out only to cause more questions. My mind never seemed to fail, when I thought I had arrived at a conclusion, there came more things for me to think about.  
  
"Son Goten, what is so interesting about the back of Trunks' head that would cause you to ignore your exam?" The teacher asked loudly from her desk.  
  
The students next to me snickered while those further away craned their necks to see. I sank low in my seat, willing a blush not to come to my face. Trunks turned around raising an eyebrow and wearing the look only he and his father possessed.  
  
"I hope you weren't looking for bugs, Go-chan." Trunks joked.  
  
"N-no.... I was...um..." I trailed off, why was it my mind never worked when speaking lately?  
  
"Ignoring your work is what you were doing. Honestly, you two are practically attached at the hip, count the hairs on his head later." I blushed. "And I expect your essay in triplicate, Son Goten, by tomorrow." Some students gasped, while most returned to their work silently, fearing the wrath of our teacher.  
  
Trunks sent a sorry looked; I shrugged and smirked, starting my writing.  
  
The bell rang, sending students from their seats and through the door with the speed possessed only by those escaping torture. I failed in scooping up my books, sending a stack of papers to the floor. Trunks chuckled softly.  
  
Trunks and I bent to get my work at the same time, hitting heads. I frowned at the impact. He handed me my books and put an arm around my shoulders casually.  
  
He's so natural about it, about us. Like it's not a big deal. He doesn't seem to even remember what happened when he told me he was gay, and that was only a month ago. How can he forget so easily when I still think about it everyday?  
  
"You have a hard head, Chibi."  
  
"Genetics," I offered, grinning, and slightly leaning into his side as we exited the room. I felt his chest shake as he laughed softly, squeezing my arm.  
  
I tried to act as he did. To show him I cared for him and needed him. I wanted to show him my love, and that's what I was doing. Showing love. Right?  
  
We continued to our next class, few words exchanged allowing other conversations to fill the silence. As we passed a group of my friends I slinked out of his hold, creating a 'friendly' distance between us. My move seemed to go unnoticed by him, save for the small sigh that escaped his mouth.  
  
  
  
Days drug by torturously slow, eventually turning into a week. And with every slow day my mind raced, thinking about what had occupied my being for awhile now. Thinking about Trunks. I tried to relax, to give my mind a chance to think about something else less complicated, yet the thoughts always returned.  
  
There was another problem I had noticed throughout the week. Whenever I was with Trunks I would go out of my way to seem 'casual', to not raise suspicion.  
  
I prayed he wouldn't notice, but knew he did. With every sigh or sad look that crossed his face I knew. But he hadn't said anything; he kept going through it like nothing was happening.  
  
Lost in my thoughts I managed to walk right into the back of another guy. A jock no less.  
  
He turned and sneered at me, "Watch it, half pint."  
  
I stared at him curiously. His larger size intimidating though I knew he couldn't hurt me. But as if by some far off instinct I felt shivers run through my body. "Sorry," I mumbled, continuing my stare.  
  
"You don't sound sorry." He said with cocky grin on his face. He shoved my chest.  
  
I stepped backward, startled by his actions. I raised my eyebrow at the guy.  
  
He sneered at me again, advancing slowly. "It's scum like you that need to be taught respect."  
  
A smile crossed my lips as a laugh threatened its way closer to my mouth. He raised a hand to strike me but another caught it.  
  
"Knock it off." I knew that voice, Trunks' voice. It was the one person who had been in my head for the longest time.  
  
Trunks glared at the jock, tossing his hand down. Without saying anything else he gestured with a slight shake of his head and we left the hall.  
  
"Never mess with the jocks, Chibi, you are crunchy and good with ketchup you know." Trunks said, winking at me.  
  
"I thought that saying was about dragons."  
  
"It is. But is there much difference between a dumb jock and a dumb dragon?"  
  
"Yes, dragons don't smell as bad." I wrinkled my nose for emphasis. Trunks smiled and rolled his eyes.  
  
We fell quiet as we continued down the hall, Trunks' arm finding it's way to my shoulders again. I sighed quietly, why couldn't I just enjoy this?  
  
"You know, you didn't have to do that." Trunks looked at me. "I could've handled him."  
  
"I was just trying to help, Chibi, I didn't think you would mind."  
  
I sighed again, "Yeah, I know."  
  
He eyed me with a funny look, "What's wrong?"  
  
"Wrong? Nothing's wrong." I said, trying to convince myself as much as him.  
  
"You're not being yourself, Goten, something's not right."  
  
"Everything's fine." I said in a sigh. The words left my mouth though I didn't believe them. I wanted to, but I couldn't force the lie upon myself.  
  
"Hn," Trunks looked at me again. A blush rose to my cheeks under his stare. Without a word I was yanked into the men's restroom and led to a corner. "We should talk, something's wrong, you can't lie about it."  
  
Why are you doing this, Trunks? Why are you forcing me to admit what I don't want to? I want to be your best friend again. I want us to be 'Trunks and Goten' like we always had been.  
  
I sighed again. Looking down I muttered, "Where do we stand now?"  
  
"What?" He asked, though I knew he had heard me.  
  
"Where do we stand? Where are we? What are we?" I looked into his eyes, searching for the answer I couldn't find.  
  
"What do you mean, Chibi?"  
  
"I mean are we still just 'Trunks and Goten'? Or are we more than that? Is it more complicated now? Are we not best friends anymore? Are we...boyfriends?" I rushed out with my questions, wringing my hands.  
  
"I thought you wanted--" I cut him off by flinging my arms around him. His body stiffened with surprise. I clung to him, the reason why I didn't understand myself.  
  
My breathing hiccupedand my brows furrowed. I didn't want to cry. I couldn't cry. I was going to figure this out; I couldn't just fall to him for everything.  
  
Tears fell onto Trunks' shoulder.  
  
I had never felt so lonely in the presence of another as I did then. There was my best friend, yet I didn't know what we had anymore. I couldn't understand what I had become, what had happened. All I knew was the gnawing in my stomach. I needed him, I wanted him, and I had him. Why was I not satisfied?  
  
Before he could put his arms around me I was off of him and heading towards the toilet. The gnawing in my stomach had turned into a burning. I felt dizzy as I braced myself against the stall wall. My mouth watered with an acidic taste. My stomach lurched and up came its contents.  
  
"Goten? Are you okay?" His hand was on my shoulder as I slid down the wall. Beads of sweat mingled with the tears, confusing their paths. I panted to catch my breath.  
  
I tried to answer but my throat was hot. I nodded. Trunks walked to the sink and dampened a paper towel. He kneeled by my side and gently wiped my face. He wiped my lips with the towel then offered it to me. I set it on my chest.  
  
"You sure you're okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine." I answered, finding that sitting was easier than standing after my failed attempt at getting up. He put a hand to my forehead.  
  
"You don't feel hot," Trunks said with a motherly tone.  
  
I would've laughed had questions not bombarded my mind. I closed my eyes to concentrate. The dark was comforting, numb and cool. I fell to it, letting it engulf me.  
  
I heard Trunks' voice, but it was distant and quiet. The darkness was close and inviting so I didn't struggle against it.  
  
The numb filled my mind, it was almost nice.  
  
TBC.  
  
Well, that's it for this chapter. There will be more. and you WILL read and review it.. ALL of it. EVERY LAST WORD. Um. Hehe ^_^;; That's the lil voice in my head 'tis all. Anyway, thanks go ta Vindali, Rikki and Liz, and B- chan the Psycho Saiyajin Sorceress for the reviews. So, follow their lead, ne? Review! ^_-V 


	6. Part 6

You're back... Celebrate! ^_^ About the delay between posts... Sorry, I s'pose I lost my mind for a bit, finals and all, ya know. Anyway...  
  
  
  
Pairings: Trunks+Goten (note the '+', there's a difference)  
  
Notes: This doesn't exactly have a place in the timeline, it's just when Trunks 18ish and Goten is 17ish. The lengths of the chapters vary, I tried to keep them all decent, sorry for anything too short  
  
Warnings: Angst, my sense of humor, Goten torture (in a sense at least), and need I mention shounen ai?  
  
Disclaimer: DBZ mine? I wish!  
  
  
  
I felt something pulling me, forcing me back. But that was where the pain was, that was where the confusion and the questions were. Why did I have to go back? It'd be so much easier to just slip away, back to the comforting numb, away from the pain.  
  
Shocking. Something shot through me. My chest rose high, lungs gasping in air I had forgotten to take. I felt it now, the pain in my chest, in my soul. Pulsing throughout my being with every beat of my heart.  
  
I didn't want to feel it. I didn't want to hurt anymore. But I knew I had to. I knew I did. Some far off part of my mind told me that I owed that much. I had to open my eyes, had to move.  
  
I couldn't. My limbs hung freely now, I could tell, but felt as heavy as boulders. My eyelids were drawn down, feeling sleepy.  
  
Wait- I was moving. How? Where? Now I really had to open my eyes. Move.  
  
With a move that seemed to draw all my strength I forced my eyes open. Blurry at first. I blinked. Still nothing recognizable. Between blinking and squinting I found the right adjustment and looked.  
  
I saw him. His face, his hair. His eyes... Laced with worry? Why? I closed my eyes to think.  
  
Quicker movement now. Voices. Gasps. Jerking. Something wet fell on my face. Slowly I looked to him again, to Trunks' face. Tears falling from his eyes. Why? Another hit my face.  
  
I moved my lips, forming silent words. Nothing but air came out from me. I tried again, still nothing.  
  
The movement stopped. Blurred voices filled my ears. Something soft was under me now. Movement again. A different movement- smooth.  
  
My vision grew fuzzy again. I tried to focus on anything. Again, I saw his face. He looked so upset. Why? I moved my lips again, this time sound passing through them. "Trunks," I whispered.  
  
With the mention of that name my body ached. So much more pain. It shot through me like hot electricity, burning my very core.  
  
I cried out, it hurt. My body shook.  
  
Tight voices, loud, echoing.  
  
"Goten...?" A soft voice, soothing. Something warm around my hand. A gentle squeeze. "Please..."  
  
I pushed the pain away, forcing it back to the darkness inside. I focused my vision better, willing it to stay. "Trunks?" I croaked. My throat burned but I spoke again, "Trunks... where...?"  
  
Suddenly a tight grip on my hand. A foreign weight on my chest.The smell of shampoo in my nose. I looked down to see purple hair under my chin. A body on mine. A hand smothering my own from view.  
  
"Goten... Thank God..." It spoke. Trunks' voice. This was Trunks, I knew that... But why was he like this?  
  
"Trunks," A small smile fell across my lips. I tried to move my other hand to him but couldn't. Something was holding me. I looked at the offending restraint. A tube coming out of my arm and up to a bag. A raised an eyebrow. "Where are we?"  
  
The weight on my chest moved. The purple hair lifted up, revealing a face with worry filled eyes and a forced smile. "It's okay now, Goten, just relax, buddy."  
  
I tried to answer but couldn't. I froze. Floods of thoughts and memories hit me. Confusion. Pain. Questions. Hurt. Anger. My heart thumped faster with each new thing that arose in my mind. More confusion. More anger. So much more pain. My breath came to me quickly, in short bursts. The voices got loud again. The hand over mine tightened its grip.  
  
  
  
---------- ---------- ---------- ---------- ---------- ----------  
  
  
  
"Goten? Goten. c'mon, wake up."  
  
My shoulder was shaken by something cool. I tried to shrug it off; I was warm and wanted to sleep.  
  
"Goten." The voice pleaded, hints of worry and anxiety within it.  
  
Something about that voice. I didn't know why but I felt compelled to answer. Slowly, forcing sound from my mouth, I answered, "fernmph?"  
  
"Goten? Goten! You're awake! God, you scared me!" Cool arms wrapped around my shoulders and a weight pushed down on my chest.  
  
"Nn? Gohan?" I yawned, slowly opening my eyes. "Gohan, wassa' matter?"  
  
He put a hand on my cheek and smiled, "Thank God you're awake now. You had everyone worried."  
  
I shivered at the cool flesh touching my own. "Everyone was worried..? What about?" Why would everyone worry about me?  
  
He nodded, "Trunks was freaked out, he couldn't really even talk. I'll go get him." Gohan rose and left the room.  
  
Trunks was worried? Why? I closed my eyes to the bright lights of the room. Without warning, questions were flung at me as I remembered all that had occurred earlier.  
  
I don't know what we are. who we are really. My identity. Am I his boyfriend or I am something else? Why can't we be best friends like before? Why does he care so much?  
  
"Not again. not again. Leave me be." I groaned, rubbing my temples.  
  
"You want me to leave, Goten?"  
  
"What?" I opened m eyes again, ignoring the stinging light, "Oh no, not you, Trunks. eh, never mind."  
  
"Oh." He sat awkwardly by me, "Uh. How ya feeling?"  
  
I sighed. Like crap. All of me hurts. My body, my heart. just me. I hurt. "Okay, I guess. What.. Um. What happened?" I asked, trying to clear my head somewhat.  
  
"I was hoping you could tell me. You fainted in the bathroom after throwing up." He sighed, "I was. really worried about you. I thought it was something I did. was it?"  
  
"No," I answered quickly, "No, Trunks. It was just me. I guess I'm coming down with something." A case of cowardice I bet.  
  
"Are you sure you're okay? You look a bit pale." He ran the back of his hand lightly over my cheek.  
  
I nodded slightly, looking up at him.  
  
He took my hand, "I'm glad you're alright, Chibi." He smiled softly.  
  
I sighed inwardly. How could I even face him like this? He didn't like me as a friend. He pitied me, felt badly for me. That's not what I wanted. Not what I needed. I offered a smile back at him. "Thanks."  
  
He ruffled my hair, "Don't do that again, okay? You really had me scared," He said, a hint of worry in his voice.  
  
I sighed, "I promise."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
He leaned down and kissed my forehead gently, as if I would break if he touched me too hard.  
  
  
  
TBC...  
  
  
  
Well, 'tis more to follow. This time thanks once again go to Vindali; also Meesh and Kiruchan. Thanks for the reviews! ^_^ And for everyone who read and didn't review. grrrr. REVIEW! Please ^_^ 


	7. Part 7

Glad ta see you're back. enjoy!  
  
Pairings: Trunks+Goten (note the '+', there's a difference)  
  
Notes: This doesn't exactly have a place in the timeline, it's just when Trunks 18ish and Goten is 17ish. The lengths of the chapters vary, I  
  
tried to keep them all decent, sorry for anything too short  
  
Warnings: Angst, my sense of humor, Goten torture (in a sense at least), and need I mention shounen ai?  
  
Disclaimer: DBZ mine? I wish!  
  
  
  
I stayed home for the next two days. The doctor's diagnosis was that I was under too much stress. Of course he lacked the knowledge that I felt like I was loosing my best friend which was constantly on my mind. Though stress was a part of it. It felt good to relax. Of course then I got my work overload when I went back to school.  
  
When the bell rang of my first day back I suddenly felt as if a new weight was placed on my shoulders. Sighing, I trudged on to class. As I entered the classroom I felt all the eyes of the students on me.  
  
They all knew what had happened. My face burned red as I took my seat, their gazes following me.  
  
"Welcome back, Goten," Trunks whispered softly.  
  
"Thanks," I replied just as quietly, scooting down in my seat.  
  
Just feeling everyone looking at me made me queasy. I pushed it away, not wanting it to disturb me. I focused on the teacher, all my attention on him. How he walked, what he wore, how he spoke.  
  
No stray thoughts, no questions, no problems.  
  
I continued staring at my teacher throughout the whole of the class, even to the point of doing nothing but staring at him. A few students asked me about what happened, I shrugged them off, forcing all my attention on the teacher.  
  
I flicked my eyes towards the clock. I had been staring at the man for forty-five minutes. Fifteen to go until I could move from this confining room with the staring gazes.  
  
Without warning, Trunks turned back to face me. I jumped in my seat at the surprise. He gave me a strange look.  
  
"Problem, Chibi?"  
  
"Sorry, just a little antsy I guess," I let out a sigh.  
  
"Oh. are you okay?" He asked, concern showing in his eyes.  
  
"Yeah.. Yeah I'm fine."  
  
"That's good," He smiled at me. I offered a weak smile in return, not quite feeling up to much else. "Let me know if you need anything, alright?" He touched my arm softly, a small gesture of affection.  
  
Hot electricity shot though my arm, radiating from where his skin touched mine. I sucked in air at the feeling. It seemed to rip through me and clench around my heart. Pangs of confused emotion were thrown at me, hitting my tired mind full force. My brow furrowed and eyes clenched shut as I tried to force them away.  
  
How can he be so excepting of me? How can he just forget what a jerk I was? Why can't I just enjoy this?  
  
It didn't work. I brought a hand up to my temple, gently massaging it.  
  
"Chibi? You alright?" He touched my arm again, sending more fire through my veins.  
  
I winced, "Yeah, just a headache."  
  
"Oh, I have some aspirin if you'd like."  
  
"No. no, it's fine," I removed my hand from my temple and opened my eyes, "I'm fine, thanks."  
  
"You sure?" I nodded. "Okay then." He smiled and turned back to his desk.  
  
I laid my head down on my table, submitting to the familiar barrage of questions my mind attacked me with.  
  
What happened to my best friend? Where normally he'd be joking around and teasing me he's soft and. loving. Not that I mind so much it's just. different. I wanted to get my friend back and instead I got a boyfriend. This wasn't right. This wasn't how things were supposed to turn out. It was supposed to be me and Trunks, friends, best friends, not boyfriends though.  
  
A thought came to me as the bell sounded and students got up to leave, seemingly punctuated by the toning of the bell. I rose from my seat, gathering my things. Trunks was standing in front of me, waiting to walk beside me. I sighed upon seeing him, but resolved in my thoughts that it was definite what I had to do.  
  
"Bored to death about history, eh?"  
  
I chuckled weakly, "Yeah, guess so."  
  
"Hm," He sighed softly, giving my shoulder a light squeeze.  
  
We continued down the hall a ways, passing various rooms and students. I received looks from some and overheard whispers from others. Guess my personal life was off some hot gossip. Trunks' arms found its way draped over my shoulders. I sighed softly.  
  
This wouldn't be easy, I knew that much. And I prayed to anything listening that this wouldn't hurt our friendship again, though pretty much all I did now wound up affecting it.  
  
I pulled away from him as we walked down another hall, "Trunks," I started nervously, "We should probably. well." I sighed, the cliché to end all romantic endeavors falling from my lips.  
  
He stopped, "What is it?"  
  
I let out a puff of air. I couldn't do this to him. Not here, not now. I'd loose him again. "Oh. nothing."  
  
"What is it, Chibi, you can tell me, ya know."  
  
"It's just. Trunks, you're my best friend. aren't you?"  
  
The bell rang, signaling the students to return to class. My shoulders slumped.  
  
"I have to go, Chibi, see ya in math, alright?" He said, my question lost to the pitch of the bell.  
  
"Yeah, see ya." He waved and jogged off to his next class.  
  
  
  
---------- ---------- ---------- ---------- ---------- ----------  
  
  
  
More classes came and went. The curiosity of the other students was annoying. Inevitably, at least two people from each period asked what had happened. I shrugged them off yet again though; I just didn't need to think about that now. If I did. well. I knew what would happen if the thoughts hit me once again.  
  
I pinched the bridge of my nose slightly, willing the oncoming headache to go away. It didn't work, I noticed, when my temples started to throb. This was the problem of thinking; it hurt.  
  
I plodded through my classes, barely noticing the subject matter being taught. I simply focused on the teachers, everything about them. That way I couldn't think about anything else.  
  
It worked, too, until lunch. Globs of people I knew were seeking answers from me. Like I had any for them. I could barely manage my own thoughts, let alone fulfill those of others.  
  
I had yet to figure out my main question, the one that plagued me no matter where I went.  
  
What were we... A month ago we were best friends. I was happy; he was happy. Up until the day he decided to come out to me. But how could our friendship have turned to this? How could it have slipped so easily from being the last thing to trouble me to being the source of my problems?  
  
I shook my head, ignoring the questioning voices from the other students and worked my way to a bench. I sighed as I sat, slumping my shoulders and bracing my elbows on my knees.  
  
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, attempting to relax my confused mind. As I breathed I noticed the familiar scent of Trunks. I groaned inwardly.  
  
This meant more confusion, more questions, more pain. I didn't want to open my eyes, the darkness was soothing, my only comfort from all that had happened.  
  
A warm hand touched my shoulder, "Chibi?"  
  
I knew I had to open my eyes, to leave my comfort behind. I had to, for Trunks.  
  
I sighed inwardly, slowly opening my eyes, "Hm?"  
  
"Hey," He offered a soft smile, "How ya doing?"  
  
I stared into his eyes. So much more there now. Not cold like they were previously when I had first hurt him. They showed so much of how he felt; they shone with happiness. It made me feel worse. He loved me enough to forgive me, enough to let me love him. But how? I had hurt him; I didn't deserve what he gave me. Further confusion wrought its way through my mind.  
  
"Chibi. You okay?"  
  
I shook my head, clearing the haze from where it had settled, "Oh! Oh. I'm okay."  
  
He sat down next to me, "Only okay?"  
  
"Well. I'm just. Trunks," I sighed, "Nothing, never mind. I'm good."  
  
He raised an eyebrow to my antics, "Very convincing. What's the matter?"  
  
I drooped my head, gazing at my feet, "Oh. nothing, Trunks, I'm just. tired is all."  
  
He softy ran the backside of his hand down my cheek. The touch sent a jolt of heat straight to my core. I shuddered slightly.  
  
A small frown graced his lips, "You sure you're alright, Goten?"  
  
I took a deep breath and nodded slowly, "Yeah, Trunks, just tired." I forced a yawn for effect.  
  
"Alright. I believe you. Just don't stress yourself, Chibi, you know what happened last time."  
  
What happened last time? Yeah, I know. I fell into the cool black numb, my only comfort. Hidden away from the pain, the questions. Hidden from having to think about feelings. It was nice. You pulled me from there, Trunks. Only for you.  
  
I looked into his eyes again. I saw worry aimed in my direction. "Trunks," I started quietly, looking away from his gaze.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Trunks. I'm just going to hurt you." My whisper of a voice left me.  
  
"What? What do you mean?" Confusion was woven throughout his words.  
  
I was giving him my confusion, spreading it. No, I couldn't make him like me.  
  
I found my voice again, speaking a little above a whisper, "If you stay with me-"  
  
"If?" Trunks interjected.  
  
"-I'm just going to hurt you even more."  
  
"Chibi, what do you mean?" He brought my face towards his, looking me in the eyes.  
  
I sighed heavily, "I mean what I said. You can't stay with me, Trunks. Not like this. I'll hurt you."  
  
"Hurt me?"  
  
"Trunks, please, just believe me. I don't want to hurt you." My voice cracked as I felt the burning sting of tears well behind my eyes.  
  
"How will you hurt me, Chibi? I don't understand-" Trunks titled his head in contemplation.  
  
"Damn it, Trunks!" I stood quickly, turning my back to him, "Listen, you and me, we can't be like this." I strained to keep my voice below a shout.  
  
Trunks stood calmly, taking my hand, "Goten,"  
  
"Leave me, Trunks."  
  
"But. I love you, Chibi... I can't just leave you."  
  
"I don't deserve your love, Trunks, leave me." I was begging with him, pleading for him to listen to me.  
  
He couldn't stay with me. He'd get hurt, I knew he would. I couldn't understand my own problems, let alone handle any sort of relationship. I needed him as a friend, but if I hurt him again I knew he'd hate me.  
  
"Chibi."  
  
"Trunks, please don't hate me." I whispered, "Please, tell me I'm your friend."  
  
"You. You're my best friend, Goten, you know that." He sighed, "Goten, I don't understand." He gently rubbed my hand.  
  
I felt myself slipping. My throat tightened and my breath hitched. I felt the tears escape from their prison, tumbling down my cheek.  
  
My voice was tight as I spoke, "Best friends. forever. Thank you, Trunks."  
  
"Goten.?" He questioned, taking a step towards me.  
  
"I'm sorry, Trunks. I can't put my best friend through anymore of this." I took my hand away from him, "So sorry, Trunks."  
  
"Goten,"  
  
I started walking away from him, knowing I couldn't look back from this. I had to continue, had to keep going. I heard him walk up behind me. Quickening my pace to a light jog I tried once again to leave him.  
  
"Goten, wait, please."  
  
"No. no, Trunks, I'm so sorry. Don't hate me, you're still my best friend." I ran away from him in cowardice, but I had no other choice.  
  
"Goten!" I heard him call after me. I didn't look back. As soon as I was off campus I took to the air, tears clouding my vision.  
  
I couldn't go back, not now. I had made up my mind. I knew what I was going to do, what I had to do. I had to fall back to the darkness, back to my comfort. It was the only way I'd ever rid myself of the questions and confusion that constantly swam through my mind. The numb black would help like it did before. It would keep people safe, others and myself as well. I refused to submit to the confusion- no more. This was it.  
  
"Trunks. My friend. Goodbye." I choked out, wiping my eyes.  
  
I flew towards my house, having full in my mind what I was to do.  
  
  
  
TBC.  
  
  
  
That's it for this chapter. Not much here, I know. So is this boring you all to death or what? Normally I would thank people for reviews. but I got none. (sniff!) Well, not to guilt anyone into a review or anything. But I really would like to know if it's worth the time to continue posting this. As in, anyone out there???? Lemme know and I'll love you forever! ^_^V 


	8. Part 8

Woo, you're back! ^_^V Thanks go ta Majin Cosmo, Amanda, Vindali, Cassie h, alice, and 'I like'! Thanks for the reviews!  
  
Pairings: Trunks+Goten (note the '+', there's a difference)  
  
Notes: This doesn't exactly have a place in the timeline, it's just when Trunks 18ish and Goten is 17ish. The lengths of the chapters vary, I tried to keep them all decent, sorry for anything too short  
  
Disclaimer: DBZ mine? I wish!  
  
Warnings: This chapter contains some disturbing content. Please don't read if you can't handle ideas/thoughts of death. It's also rather short.  
  
  
  
I sat on the edge of the sink, looking down at the object in my hand. I was holding a razor, dully colored and rather plain. But it was the answer I sought. It had to be. It was.  
  
I had already decided that this was going to be it for me. I couldn't deal with the way things were headed... Not anymore. I was playing with Trunks' feelings; I had to end it. No more questions, no more confusion. It was too painful; it hurt- physically, mentally, emotionally.  
  
I drew in a shaky breath, one of my last. Slowly, I lowered the blade to my upturned wrist, touching the thin, cool edge to my hot flesh. A strange pang of guilt pushed through me, but I ignored it, forcing it far from me.  
  
I wasn't backing out. Not from this. There was no other way.  
  
Slowly I pushed the blade into my flesh, hardly noticing the sting.  
  
Crimson fluid oozed around the edge. I felt excited with morbid interest. I watched as the blood continued to make its way from me, running down my arm.  
  
This was my trouble, my problems, my anxiety. This was my pain. All flowing from me. Leaving. A cool sense of ease fell over me as I watched my arm become hidden by a veil of blood.  
  
With sick curiosity I ran a finger through the thick red liquid. Bringing it up to my mouth I flicked my tongue out to taste it. It was warm, and tasted metallic. The blood excited me.  
  
I looked over at my clean wrist, examining it carefully. Chuckling softly I lowered the crimson blade to it. Blood trickled out from there as well. I dropped the razor and looked at my arms with aberrant fascination.  
  
The blood from the first slit had reached my elbow, staining my shirt. I frowned slightly; I had liked this shirt. The thought almost made me laugh.  
  
Too absorbed in my self-demise I took no notice of the door opening. I did, however, notice the gasp and banging of the door.  
  
"My God! Goten! What are you doing? Oh my God... Oh my God!" Trunks exclaimed, his voice filling the room.  
  
My eyes widened and heart raced. I'd been caught. It was the feeling of a deer caught in the headlights... what to do?  
  
Emotions rushed through me as I turned to him, tears flooding my eyes and flowing down my cheeks, "It's bad Trunks... God... I'm sorry..."  
  
He grabbed my arms carefully, taking no notice of my blood getting on his hands and clothes.  
  
"Goten, why? Oh God, this is bad... No, we have to get you help... C'mon!" He tugged at me.  
  
I followed dumbly, barely managing to move my feet beneath me.  
  
"Trunks... I..."  
  
He turned, stopping briefly, "What?"  
  
"I... I'm so sorry..." My voice faded, leaving me. I felt lightheaded, the world shifting in and out of focus. I swayed, trying to keep my balance.  
  
Without warning my world shifted violently, the ground rushing up at me. Before I smashed into to it I was caught at my shoulders. Strong hands holding me up. I wanted to look up at him but couldn't as everything around me got dark.  
  
"Oh God... God no..." I heard it seemingly from afar; it drifted softly to my ear. Then all was silent.  
  
  
  
TBC..  
  
  
  
Oh no! Poor Goten, ne? There's one more chapter, in his favor or not. Wanna read it? Review this. ^_^ 


	9. Part 9 (The End)

Alas, 'tis the ending.... a long awaited ending, eh? Anyway, thanks this time go to Vindali (my ever faithful reader.... only because I yell at ya if ya don't! ^_-), Serenity, and Oddling. Also, thanks to all who read and enjoyed... Even if you remained voiceless.  
  
Pairings: Trunks+Goten (note the '+', there's a difference)  
  
Notes: This doesn't exactly have a place in the timeline, it's just when Trunks 18ish and Goten is 17ish. The lengths of the chapters vary, Itried to keep them all decent, sorry for anything too short  
  
Disclaimer: DBZ mine? I wish!  
  
Warnings: Mush... A bit of confusion? And mature themes  
  
  
  
Sweet darkness. Cool and numb. Soothing. I felt light, like everything I knew was gone from me. No worries or cares. It felt nice.  
  
I tried to think of where I was, but my mind was foggy. I couldn't remember anything. I tried to focus, tried to think of something from weeks gone by.  
  
Nothing. Absolutely blank. My mind was as empty as the blackness around me.  
  
I searched my mind for anything; a fragment of a thought. Nothing came.  
  
Frantically I looked around. Nothing. Was I even seeing?  
  
I strained to hear anything, yet echoes of emptiness were my only reply.  
  
Blank. There was nothing where I was. Nothing to entice my senses. It was void. A lonely, black void.  
  
I strained all my senses, hoping for something anything. Then I heard it. Soft and airy, like wind. What was it? It almost sounded like a voice, sweet and tender. But I couldn't tell what it was saying.  
  
Forcing my hearing to its limits, I listened intensely for the voice to speak again. Again, the voice drifted serenely to my ears. It calmed my nerves as it spoke, holding such tranquillity within it.  
  
"Goten... Please... It's time to wake up..."  
  
I lessened the strain on my hearing as the voice grew louder, still having a calming effect over me.  
  
"Goten... Come on... You've got to open your eyes now..."  
  
Open my eyes? But all I see is blackness. I looked around once more, determined to find something. As I squinted I could see a shimmering object come towards me. As it approached it took form, color spreading throughout its shape.  
  
"Wake up... please..." It begged, "You have to wake up..."  
  
Wake up? I'm not awake? Where am I? I tried to think back to anything, but again haze fell over my thoughts.  
  
The figure approached me. "Anything... Oh God... Don't die, Goten, please don't die..."  
  
Die? Was I dead? Was that was it was? But how?  
  
The figure before me stopped. I squinted to see its features. As I squinted I could make out only the eyes. They were filled with sorrow, with pain and anguish. Tears freely escaped from the eyes, falling to a place unknown.  
  
I tried to ask "Why do you cry?" but I could not make sound. Confused, I tired to move, but found no result.  
  
The figure before me sobbed, falling to its knees. From it came the most heart clenching noise, and mummers of loving words.  
  
Again, I tried to speak, to say, "What's wrong?" but again, nothing happened.  
  
Suddenly, the figure before me stood, rushing at me with open arms, tears continuing to stream down its face. As it reached me I felt hot flesh wrap around me.  
  
But... How?  
  
Faster than I could process the world lit up around me. Light attacked my eyes as smells, tastes, and noise wracked my senses.  
  
I gasped, feeling sharp cool air enter my lungs.  
  
"Goten...?"  
  
I looked for the source, vision switching in and out of focus. My gaze settled on a pair of eyes. The same eyes as the figure had. More tears fell from them, but I could feel the hot liquid hitting my bear chest.  
  
I blinked, trying to take in all that had just occurred. The figure released its hold on me. "Oh Goten..."  
  
I knew that voice. I knew that figure. "Go...han?" My voice came out raspy and in a whisper, but the figure snapped his attention to it.  
  
He smiled widely, "Thank God you're awake now, Goten, thank God..."  
  
I tried to put my hand to the bridge of my nose to stop the onset of a headache, but found I couldn't move. Looking to my arms I saw them to be wrapped from my palm to mid-arm, and tied down with thick restraints. My brow knitted together as I tried to process what had happened.  
  
Gohan looked to my restraints as a sad expression crossed his face. Sighing heavily he spoke, "Goten, why'd you do it?"  
  
With that simple statement, memories of passed weeks hit me. My head swam with clips of conversations, pangs of emotions, and the ever-present questions.  
  
"Oh God... it's bad, isn't?" I looked to Gohan, realizing what I had tried and failed at. "Oh... Real bad..."  
  
"Why...?"  
  
Tears sprang to my eyes. I didn't hold them back, couldn't. They raced freely down my cheeks, running down my neck. My breath hiccuped in my throat.  
  
"Go... Gohan... I'm so sorry..." I pleaded, straining my voice, "I... I just couldn't... Oh God... Trunks..."  
  
"Trunks?"  
  
I nodded, silent sobs racking my body to the point of impairing my speech.  
  
Gohan sighed heavily, "You scared us all, Goten... Mom and Bulma have been frantic, I'm sure they'll want to see you," he spoke solemnly.  
  
I shook my head 'no'. "T-Trunks," I stuttered.  
  
"Alright, fine, I'll bring Trunks in." He gave me a final hug, "Please, stay with us, Goten."  
  
I nodded, tears continuing their trek down my face.  
  
He left slowly, taking burdened steps to the door.  
  
I stared at the door after it shut. Waiting for it to open again. Thoughts continued to bombard my tired mind as tears still flowed.  
  
Finally, the door swung open. Gohan held it as Trunks walked through.  
  
My breath caught as I saw Trunks. So pale, so sickly pale. His features were all laced with fear. He walked cautiously, as if he was afraid approaching me would cause more trouble.  
  
When he reached my side, neither of us could speak. His eyes were dull, lacking the vibrant life that usually resided there. They brimmed with tears as he looked over me. I dropped my head, ashamed at what I had done.  
  
"Trunks... I'm so sorry..." More tears cascaded down my face as I spoke, as if to accent my words.  
  
Without saying anything, Trunks leaned down and gave me a ghost of a hug. He stayed that way as he found his voice, "Goten... oh, Goten..."  
  
I whimpered as he said my name, his voice held such pain and compassion. I tried to wrap my arms around him, only to have the restraints hold me back.  
  
He lifted his body and gazed down my arms. I felt nervous under his intense stare, especially as he focused on my wrists. Slowly, gently, he moved his hand down my arms, ghosting a trail. His fingers stopped at the restraints, as he turned to look me in the eyes.  
  
I nodded shortly, silently asking for him to free me.  
  
He understood as his fingers made quick work of my confinements. Before I could move my arms, however, he gently picked one up. Bringing my bandaged wrist to his mouth he laid a soft kiss on it. He repeated this ritual with my other wrist as I watched intently. Softly setting my arm down at my side, he moved closer to me again.  
  
"Goten... please don't ever leave me... I love you..." He spoke softly, forcing warmth into his shaky voice.  
  
I shook as a silent sob fell over me. Bringing my arms up to my chest, I laid my face in my hands and turned on my side.  
  
A soft touch and cool hand on my exposed back. This cause more pain to shoot through me.  
  
"Oh Trunks... I'm so sorry... I just didn't know..." I sobbed, "I was so scared you'd hate me... I just want you back..." I spoke through my hands, not allowing myself to look at him.  
  
Slowly his arms wrapped around me, bringing his body close to mine. He gently rubbed small circles on my back, trying to soothe me.  
  
"Trunks," I pulled back from him, "Trunks... I... have to apologize. I'm so sorry... For... everything. I didn't mean to hurt you at all..."  
  
"I know, Chibi, I know."  
  
"And... Oh... Where are we now, Trunks? What are we?"  
  
"Chibi," He spoke softly, hiding his fear behind his love, "We're whatever you want us to be."  
  
"But what of best friends... boyfriends?"  
  
He smiled softly and hugged me, "Does it matter?"  
  
I looked to him confused, "But-"  
  
"Goten," He crawled onto my bed beside me and held me close.  
  
I wound an arm over his hip. I realized his body to be shaking. Looking closely at his face I saw tears rolling down his cheeks on the mattress. His chest shook with silent sobs that wracked his frame. I drew him closer to me.  
  
"Oh Goten... I thought I'd lost you forever there..." He hiccuped, "I don't know what I would've done..."  
  
"Trunks-"  
  
He looked me in the eyes, as if staring directly at my soul, "Goten... Chibi, I love you. Pure and simple. I love you. Always, Chibi, always."  
  
As he spoke my mind seemed to go to ease. Question and confusion that had previously clouded were swept away. I smiled my first genuine heart-felt smile in a long time. "You're my best friend, Trunks, always... I'm so grateful you don't hate me..." I gave and a gentle squeeze, "I love you too," I whispered into his hair.  
  
"Don't ever leave me alone, Chibi... Please, promise me that."  
  
I closed my eyes, holding him close, "I swear, Trunks."  
  
He gave me a tight hug, soft tears hitting my neck.  
  
I voiced words previously thought, "Why do you cry?"  
  
"For you Goten, tears of joy, always."  
  
I smiled against his hair.  
  
It was like that we fell to slumber; best friends in each other's arms, in each other's minds, and in each other's hearts, forever.  
  
  
  
THE END! OWARI! FIN!  
  
  
  
Yup, this fic is now over... Don't celebrate too loudly -_-. Anyway. I really hope you understood my ending because that clarified Goten's whole problem of 'who they were'... Hope I got that point across clearly enough.  
  
Thanks for reading!!! And if you enjoyed it in the slightest of ways... lemme know! I'd love to know if I managed to stir any emotions whatsoever ^_^.  
  
On a side note... I'm considering doing a 'sequel' of sorts. Basically, this whole thing from Trunks' POV for those of you who were wondering what was going on in the purple-haired one's head. Is anyone interested in reading such a thing? 


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